


celestial x cartography

by DecemberCamie



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Universe, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 15:49:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8584384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberCamie/pseuds/DecemberCamie
Summary: There are stars, and then there’s Killua, and sometimes Gon can’t tell the difference.





	

There are stars, and then there’s Killua, and sometimes Gon can’t tell the difference.

 

* * *

 

Killua appears out of nowhere, gliding by Leorio on his skateboard like he’s a comet and the other Exam participants are just meteors, too slow and too dull to keep up.

He runs with Gon, though, even when he doesn’t have to. He looks for Gon, even after the fog separates them. He teaches Gon how to use his skateboard and takes Gon’s hand to help him keep balance, and Gon knows he won’t fall with Killua there.

He didn’t know then that there is more than one way to fall.

 

* * *

 

_That’s Polaris._

_Eh? How do you know?_

_‘Cause that’s the first star I see whenever I leave home._

_But, Killua, sailors used Polaris to guide themselves_ back _home. Not away from it!_

_...I guess. That place has never really been my home, though._

 

* * *

 

They stay up super late one night when they’re staying in Heavens Arena. 

Outside a storm rages unlike anything the area has ever seen before. Rain batters against the building and their window moans under the wind. They keep the blinds pulled to the side and watch with bated breath, sitting cross-legged on the carpeted floor.

Gon remembers that night not because of the way they were plunged into darkness after the electricity went out, or how their nails dug into each other’s arms at the roar of thunder, or even the fact that it’s the first time they share a bed when they finally fall sleep.

Gon remembers it because of the look of complete and total awe that glowed in Killua’s eyes every time lightning split the sky in half. 

 

* * *

 

“Make a wish,” Killua tells him and points with one finger as a single white line streaks across the sky. They’re running back to York New, they have to find Kurapika and learn Nen to capture the Phantom Troupe and buy Greed Island, and-

“I wish we could stay together,” Gon says without thinking, because, really, even with everything else that’s the only thing he would ever really wish for, and Killua sputters.

 _“You-!_  You can’t say it out loud, idiot, or else it won’t come true!”

“Does that mean you’re gonna leave me, Killua?”

Killua makes a face. “Don’t be stupid.”

 

* * *

 

Gon doesn’t know what Killua’s Hatsu is, and Killua doesn’t know what Gon’s Hatsu is. They trained that part separately on purpose so they could surprise each other later.

But knowing Killua, he’ll have done something bright and dazzling, because that’s just what Killua  _is._

He’s a shooting star, streaking across space so bright and so fast that sometimes Gon is too scared to blink.

 

* * *

  

“Gon!” A smile breaks across Killua’s face. “Come over here, you have to see this!”

Gon shuffles closer to the cliff’s edge and inhales sharply.

Covering the entire base of the canyon’s valley is a perfectly smooth and shiny boulder. It reflects the huge expanse of the starry night sky above them to form a perfect mirror image; where they sky touches the horizon, it begins again in its reflection. 

It’s as if the whole valley is filled with stars.

“Isn’t it cool?” Killua asks him as he tugs on Gon’s arm to get him to sit down.

Gon nods, speechless.

After a few minutes of appreciative silence, Gon asks, “How did you find this?”

Killua shrugs. He kicks his feet back and forth as he says, “I didn’t want to do nothing while Bisky was training you. And I’ve already come up with a plan to defeat the Bomber. So I explored a bit and found this huge reflective rock thing. I figured it would be a really amazing sight at night.”

Gon’s gaze shifts down to his friend’s heavily bandaged hands. His heart twists painfully.

He drops his head on Killua’s shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut.

Killua tenses. “Gon. What are you do-”

“I’m sorry,” Gon mumbles into Killua’s skin. His throat burns like it’s on fire.

“For what?!”

“For your hands.”

A pause. 

“Gon, you don’t need to apologize for something like that.”

Gon sniffs. “I know. It was something we had to do to defeat Razor, and I don’t regret it. But, I- I  _hurt_  you. And, and that. That was never what, I-!”

“Gon!” Killua said loudly, sounding alarmed. “What are you trying to-?”

“After we rescued you from your family a year ago, I told myself I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you,” Gon confessed. “I. I wanted your life to be  _better_. And now, after all that we’ve been through, I asked you to hold the ball to defeat Razor even though I knew what would happen, and I just...”

He let out a shaky breath. Then he whispered, “I never wanted to be the one to hurt you, not after what your family did to you for all those years. And that’s exactly what I did.”

Killua is quiet. Then-

“I didn’t mind getting hurt,” he says in a sigh. “It was for you, so...I don’t mind it.”

Gon goes still. He lifts his head away from Killua’s shoulder to stare wordlessly at his best friend, but Killua isn’t looking at him; he’s gazing out at the double sky, eyes soft and gentle in a way that makes Gon’s heart leap. 

 _There’s danger in saying things like that,_  Gon thinks as he looks at Killua looking at the galaxy stretched out in front of them. A power in surrendering yourself to someone so completely that you yourself don’t matter anymore, and he wonders if Killua understood the heavy implication of his words when he said it. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. 

Maybe he just didn’t care.

 

* * *

 

Kite says: “You two are a good team.”

And Gon agrees.

Being with Killua is natural, easy. Having Killua by his side as they search for bugs and creatures with Kite’s team is as simple as breathing. 

Learning about Chimera Ants and entering NGL, discovering what’s happening there, that part is...hard.

Fighting against the Ants is even worse. But he has Killua, and they know how to dance around each other to take down even the toughest opponents. With Killua’s wit, and Gon’s unbreakable will, they can defeat anything.

That’s what they believe, at least.

But then comes the time when the moon is high in the night sky and Kite’s dislocated arm goes flying in a whirlwind of blood, and there’s an Ant crouching between them and Kite, and the  _Ant_  did that, the Ant  _hurt Kite_ , the  _ANT-_

Gon wakes up to birds chirping and clean sheets and an ache in the back of his skull. Killua sits at the edge of his bead, head bowed and glowing in a silver halo where the sunlight touches it, and Gon’s breath catches in his throat.

It’s silly, but he sees Killua and Gon’s racing heart slows. Kite is gone, but he has Killua. And they’ll train and get stronger and get Kite back and everything would be fine.

He couldn’t accept anything else.

 

* * *

 

Gon’s blood roars in his ears.

He doesn’t understand. What did Killua just say?  _What?!_

Trust? Killua wants him to _trust_  this Ant? The same Ant who turned Kite into a puppet of war so he could die several times over? How- how could Killua even  _suggest_  that, or think about doing something so horribly wrong-

It doesn’t make sense. None of it makes any sense and Gon wants to scream until his voice gives out and his throat is bloody and raw and he explodes from the overwhelming cruelness of it all.

That this Ant would give some random girl a chance at life but toss Kite’s away like it’s nothing.

_“Gon! If you kill Pitou, we’ll never get Kite back.”_

Killua is right. He’s always right. But Gon doesn’t care.

Killua is an entire universe, shining bright and full of light, but Gon is stuck in a swirling black hole of darkness and hatred.

Killua’s light can’t reach him here.

 

* * *

 

There are stars, and then there’s Killua, and sometimes that makes all the difference.

Gon doesn’t remember much of his fight with Pitou. He remembers the blinding pain, the fire in his fist and the wetness of indigo blood running down his arm. And he remembers there were no stars above them that night.

But then Killua appears in a literal flash of sparks and electricity and stuns Gon enough to make him hesitate. That hesitation saves his life.

Killua saves his life.

 

* * *

 

Gon can’t stand the tension, sitting across from his best friend in an unlit hotel room on a rigid bed with ice cold sheets.

“You’re leaving,” he says out loud because maybe it will be better if he’s the one to say it first.

But the horrible aftertaste in his mouth makes him regret bringing it up at all.

Killua blinks at him with wide eyes. He ducks his head down and Gon watches as those elegant hands clench into fists.

“You could tell, huh?” 

Gon nods wordlessly and they continue to sit there in the leftover silence. Alluka is outside on the balcony, soaking up the sun while they stay in the dark, but Killua will get up soon to join his sister’s side. Gon will stay here.

Neither of them want to face the reality of what the Chimera Ants caused. Gon thought he was willing to accept all consequences when he traded his life for his Nen in NGL.

But he hadn’t thought of this- of  _Killua,_  and what it might mean for  _them_ , because Gon is selfish and he probably always will be. 

 _But,_  he thinks as he struggles to swallow around the burning lump in his throat,  _maybe if he had thought of Killua, he might have chosen differently._

 

* * *

 

Gon spends a lot of time looking at the stars after that. He’s not sure why, but he thinks it has something to do with Killua, just like the ache in his heart that won’t go away no matter how long it’s been since they said goodbye.

“Gon? You’re still out here?”

He turns around at the sound of Aunt Mito’s tired voice. She’s climbing on top of the roof to join him, stifling a yawn behind her hand.

He smiles guiltily. “Yeah. I’m sorry if I kept you up, Aunt Mito. You can go to bed, I’ll be in soon.”

“I wouldn’t do that and leave you up here all by yourself,” she says as she crawls over to his side. She bumps his shoulder with hers and offers him a gentle look.

“You’ve been out here a lot, lately.”

“Mm, yeah. I guess.”

“Any reason why?”

Gon knows why and it starts with a skateboard in a tunnel and ends in a stark white room where he wakes up alone after he should have been dead.

But there’s no reason to worry Aunt Mito by saying things like that. So he just shrugs, and says, “I’m not sure, really. It makes me...calm. I feel better when I look at the stars.”

“Does it remind you of him?” Aunt Mito asks and Gon’s mouth goes dry.

He hunches over and presses his lips into a thin line to keep them from trembling. Aunt Mito notices immediately.

“Oh, Gon, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you! Here, come over-”

He surrenders himself to her embrace. Everything hurts even though nothing is physically wrong with him, but there has to be  _something_  if he’s feeling this way. Right?

“I miss him,” he croaks and its practically a confession. “I miss him  _so much,_  Aunt Mito.”

Aunt Mito runs her fingers through his hair, murmurs comfortingly, “I know. I know. It’s okay, this isn’t forever, Gon. It’s just for now.”

“But what if, what if he doesn’t  _want_  to meet up again? What if he h-hates me?”

“He doesn’t. You know he doesn’t. You two talk every other day, and when you’re not talking you text each other nonstop. You two are caught in each other’s gravity; you’ll never be far away from the other’s heart. I’m sure Killua feels the same.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Killua. Can you see the moon from where you are?”

_“Uhhh...yeah. Why?”_

“Well, it’s just, if  _you’re_  looking at the moon, and _I’m_  looking at the moon, that technically means we’re looking at the same thing! And we can’t be that far apart if we can do that.”

 _“_ Tch. _You’re such a sap.”_

“Heh, I guess. It makes me happy, though, to know that we can be together like that at least, even if can’t be at each other’s sides.”

_“...me too, Gon. It makes me happy too.”_

 

* * *

 

Gon leans on the ship’s railing, waiting for the sun’s rays to peep over the horizon. It’s too early to be up, but Gon is too jittery to sleep. He taps his nails against the wood as he watches the last few stars wink out of existence.

He’d said goodbye to Aunt Mito just a day ago. It feels like a life time since then.

His phone buzzes and he opens the latest message from Killua. He smiles; it’s a horribly taken selfie of his best friend and Alluka as they try to shove ice cream in each other’s faces. It’s already daytime where they are. 

That’s a start, at least.

He types out a new message, smile widening:

_I’m coming for you, Killua. Be ready._

 

* * *

 

Gon catches up eventually, as they both knew he would.

Their reunion is about emotional as anyone could expect it to be: full of tears and shouting and hugs and Gon feels like he can finally  _breathe_  again and the stars never shone brighter than they did that night. At one point Killua punches him in the face and Gon nearly blacks out from the power behind his swing.

Its fine, though. Gon deserved that.

 

* * *

 

Killua wants to show Gon something that he found while traveling with Alluka and Gon goes along with it because he wants anything that Killua wants. He’ll do anything Killua wants, because ever since finding his father, his goal was to relearn Nen, and that was just so he could be with the person who’d given up everything for Gon without asking for anything in return.

So. Gon will do anything Killua wants to do. 

Killua takes him to a cave with a huge hole in its ceiling. The floor of the cave is covered with water so clear that Gon can see all the way to the bottom. Killua drags him onto a boat and they go out to the center of the lake, and they wait.

Then the moonlight drifts into the hole above them, and the water glows as if it’s made of a glitter and stars.

“It’s the bacteria in the water,” Killua explains as Gon gapes. “They only react like this with moonlight. You can touch it, if you want. It’s totally harmless.”

Gon dips his fingers into warm liquid and they come out stained in shimmering gold.

“What’s really cool is that the bacteria changes color depending on what it comes into contact with. See?”

Killua skims the top of the water with one hand. When he holds it out to Gon, his soft, pale skin is covered in a sheen of silver.

Gon looks up at Killua to find him grinning, full of simple joy and happiness, and it’s almost shocking to Gon how his heart swells at the sight.

He reaches out, slowly, to brush his gold fingers against Killua’s face. It leaves a trail of silver across reddening cheeks and they stare at each other for a long time, not saying anything.

Killua is beautiful. He gazes at Gon with wide eyes and hair made from starlight and skin that glows under the moon’s rays. He’s graceful and rude and vulnerable and sarcastic- but he’s beautiful, he’s  _so beautiful,_ and when Gon takes a moment to stop and really look at him like this...Killua takes his breath away. 

Gon had always known his friend was pretty. But this was something entirely different, and he’s only recently started to figure out what it means.

Gon swallows. He leans forward, saying, “Killua, I-”

The boat tips suddenly and they’re both plunged into warm water. Gon comes to the surface with a gasp and holds up his arms to see them coated in gold.

When he finally makes it to the shore Killua is laughing on the sand. 

“You should-” he gasps, “-see how  _crazy_  you look right now!”

"You’re not any better, Killua! You look like one of those faces on coins!”

That only makes Killua laugh harder. Gon collapses on top of him and they keep laughing until the moon is gone and they’re just Killua and Gon again, clinging to each other’s soaking bodies until they’re dry once more.

 

* * *

 

When it does happen, like everyone had known it would, its over something simple. 

Gon brought back specialty chocolate after he went shopping and the look of total bliss on Killua’s face when he takes a bite makes Gon laugh. Killua tells him to shut up, and Gon kisses him instead.

Everything falls into place after that. 

There’s a lot to figure out still, because neither of them have ever been in a serious relationship before, and both of them have been broken several times over before coming back together to make them who they are now.

But they make it work. Because its _Killua_ , and Gon would do anything for him.

 

* * *

 

A lot of things change, but mostly it doesn’t. 

They still share a bed. That hasn’t changed since Heavens Arena and Gon doubts it ever will. They still eat out a lot because neither of them cook. They still have pillow fights at three in the morning because Killua steals blankets and Gon keeps him up with weird questions. They still spar on the days they don’t have Hunter jobs.

There’s just  _more_ to it all, now. Gon likes holding Killua’s hand, the feel of his long fingers against Gon’s calloused ones. He loves saying things that make Killua’s face turn redder then a tomato in the summer. He thinks it’s amazing that he can reach over and press his lips to Killua’s whenever he wants.

His favorite part, though, is the simple knowledge that Killua wants this, too. Killua is willing to lay himself open and bare to Gon and trust him with every part of Killua that makes him  _Killua_ , whether it be ugly or tragic or sad. Killua willingly chose Gon, even after everything that they’ve been through-

 _“Especially_  because everything we’ve been through,” Killua tells him with a shake of his head. “You brought light into my world, Gon. You’re my sun.”

And Gon knows the whole sun and moon thing is cheesy, but if he is Killua’s sun, Killua is Gon’s stars and sky and everything that Gon never knew he wanted and never deserved, but none of that matters.

Because Killua wants to be with him, and Gon wants to be with Killua. That’s all there is to it, really.

 

* * *

 

Gon lays in a pile of pillows and sheets and stares into eyes cut from midnight skies. “When did you first know you liked me?”

The question is a whisper but the answer could move mountains.

Killua is lazily drawing shapeless shapes into Gon’s arm. He murmurs, “What do you mean? Like, as a friend or something...more?”

“Anything, really. I’m curious.”

“Mmm. I guess, then, it was that time we were stuck in Trick Tower,” Killua’s lips press upwards at the memory. “After I ripped Johness’ heart out, and you didn’t run away. You didn’t treat me any differently even after you saw what I did.”

Gon hums in the back of his throat. Killua’s fingers are cool and smooth, like ice or gems or glass. It’s easy to forget at times like these just how simple it would be for Killua to flick his wrist, turn those nails into jagged knives.

He’s placid here with Gon, sharing a bed and staying close enough that Gon could capture Killua’s lips with his, if he really wants.

Killua glances up at him through white lashes. “When did you know?” 

Gon smiles slightly. “Same time.”

Killua blinks. “W-why? I was so horrible back then. I didn’t care about anything, or anyone.”

“Because.” Gon reaches out to gently caress a porcelain cheek. “When you revealed your true strength, you shone. I was drawn to your inner light and once I saw it, I couldn’t look away.”

 

* * *

 

It’s not always easy.

There’s Killua’s family, for one thing. They will always have to worry about keeping Alluka and Nanika safe from those who want to abuse them. And they’ll never be free of Hunter duties since they’re both turning out to be the most prodigal Hunters in history.

But Gon has Killua, and Killua has Gon. As long as they’re together, no one can hurt them. And the sun itself would burn out before Gon let anyone separate him from Killua’s side.

 

* * *

 

 _I love you,_  is whispered on the seventh night of the seventh month as they watch fireworks explode in the sky.

_Stupid. I knew that, already._

Gon laughs, startled but not really because that response is so  _Killua,_  and Killua squeezes his hand.

_I love you, too._

 

* * *

 

There are stars, and then there’s Killua. And Gon knows the difference in the curve of Killua’s neck and the sharpness of his teeth and the sweet chocolate aftertaste of those beautiful lips.

Killua is silver and blue; he’s cranky mornings, the sweat rolling down Gon’s back after a satisfying sparing session; he’s the laughter bubbling up in Gon’s lungs and the warmth in Gon’s heart.

Killua is an entire universe in one person. And Gon is going to spend every day for the rest of his life mapping out all of Killua’s stars and planets and suns, because Killua is worth all his time and more.

He presses a kiss to Killua’s temple as Killua rests in Gon’s arms.

“You make me really happy, Killua,” he says softly. “I’m so glad we met. I’m so glad you want to be with me.”

Killua stirs slightly. He murmurs, “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

Gon’s chest swells and he buries his face in Killua’s fluffy hair, ignoring Killua’s low groan of protest. 

Who cares about stars, anyway? He has Killua. And that is all he will ever need.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own HunterxHunter.
> 
> This was for an art trade with mikkm on tumblr (http://mikkm.tumblr.com/). The request was 'killugon and stars'. I listened to the song 'Swallowed In the Sea' by Coldplay most of the time I was writing this. 
> 
> Celestial cartography, according to Wikipedia, is the fringe of astronomy and branch of cartography concerned with mapping stars, galaxies, and other astronomical objects on the celestial sphere.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> My tumblr: http://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/


End file.
